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I spent so many years of my life wishing I could be different than the way God made me. Wishing I could be more like her. The girl who was kind, gentle and quiet. Or the girl who was stunning, beautiful, and just the right amount of sexy. I felt so trapped in this idea that I had to be different to be a good person, which left me feeling like I wasn’t.
I hear so many people talking about social media and how it fuels these feelings of comparison, jealousy, and that awful feeling of not enough. I’ve been there friend. When I first started my social media journey, I constantly had those feelings, but after a while, something changed.
I came to this strong realization that being me is what people are attracted to. They aren’t attracted to me being something I am not. Slowly, but surely, I started growing into the person I was created to be. This wasn’t something that happened over night. It has taken me my entire life to slowly step into this authentic person who doesn’t care what other people think.
Myers Briggs Personality Assessment
I spent too much of my life looking at my qualities and my personality traits as negatives, when every trait I found to be a weakness, also provided a great strength. After my ex called off our engagement, I became obsessed with the Myers Briggs personality assessment. It was so spot on for everyone I met.
The Myers Briggs provides extensive insight into relationships and compatibility between the various personality types. I started reading books, blogs, and anything I could get my hands on that talked about the various personality types. When my husband and I started dating, I even made him take the test to see if we were a good fit! Yes, I’m that crazy.
The Enneagram Test
Flash forward almost two years, it wasn’t until I took the Enneagram test that I had a major wake up call to live in alignment with my true self. My best friend and I were lying in bed one night and she started rambling off all this information about the Enneagram. She was like, “You have to take it!” So, I did, and then we were up until 2:00am reading and learning about all the intricacies of my “types.” The Enneagram made me realize that I love who I am and the way I was designed by God, and that I truly don’t want to be anything else. In case you were wondering, I’m a type one (perfectionist) and a type eight (challenger). Shocking (that is sarcasm).
I’ve never felt more confident in who I am than now. Yes, there are things I need to “work on,” but that rings true for all of us. The important thing is that we embrace who we are, give ourselves grace, and know that all our traits can be used for good or bad. We get to make the choice. That is where there is power in knowing who you are, who you want to be and what mark you want to leave on this world.
Your Personality Has Power
A quote came up on the screen at church last week and tears welled up in my eyes. “Helping one person might not change the whole world, but it could change the world for one person.” Why was this making me cry?
You see, this little blog of mine is a lot of work. It’s scary. It’s risky. It makes me feel so, so vulnerable. Every time I hit publish, a wave of fear rushes over me. Will people like this? Will people think of me differently? Will people be repelled by my true feelings, beliefs or what I have to say? Will they be mean, hateful? Will I disappoint them or let them down?
All these things run through my head when I publish on an intimate post, but I’ve made the decision to not let that fear stop me. The messages I get saying, “I needed to hear that today,” or “Thank you so much for sharing”, or the, “This makes me feel less alone,” are more than enough for me to keep opening my heart to this community. I might not be able to change the whole world, but I hope I can change the world for at least one person.
A Must Read Book on Vulnerability
A few months ago, I read, Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. If you haven’t read it, please, please read it now! It is an eye-opening book filled with insight about vulnerability and relationships. She poses the question of, “Why am I sharing this?” as an indicator of something being too much or too intimate, to share. I find myself asking that question a lot when it comes to choosing what I write on this blog.
What I Want You to Know
So here is why I’m sharing this post about finding and embracing your authentic self. I want every woman reading this to know that us “confident” people who live a life in alignment with who we really are, well, we weren’t born this way!
We all struggle to embrace what God gives us and quit longing for what He gives someone else and that is nothing to be embarrassed, guilty or ashamed of. But what if we could quit focusing on what we don’t have or that personality trait of ours we don’t like and start focusing on what we DO have and the parts of our personality that we DO like. And, you might even find that some of those traits you associate with being negative are a HUGE positive when applied to certain tasks, roles, or situations.
You will never realize what you are capable of if you keep pushing away who you were designed to be. Embrace it friend. I promise good things will come from you being YOU.
More from the Blog:
- Modern, Bridal Hats for the Nontraditional Bride
- Embracing Your Authentic Personality: Online & Offline
- Our Intimate Courthouse Wedding
- The Real Reason We Got Married 3 Months Before Our Wedding
- A Letter to My Almost Husband