Establishing Boundaries Changed my Life & Business

Ding* That’s the sound of my phone going off at 11:35 PM on a Saturday night… I roll over, groggy and check my notifications. Surprise, it’s a client who thinks Saturday at midnight is the perfect time to tell you they would like to cancel their contract.

Anxiety would shoot through my body just from that simple sound. Instantly, my stomach would drop, my chest would tighten & then I would want to throw up.

My email inbox, my texts, my Facebook notifications, my Instagram DMs, my voicemail. ALL of it would trigger this intense physical anxiety. You can imagine how this anxiety and stress spilled into every single aspect of my life.

Where to Draw the Line

We live in a world where we are constantly connected with the power of a computer in our purse or pocket. There is no clean, clear divide between work and personal life for so many of us.

I got to the point where one email would put me in a downward spiral for hours, sometimes even a full day or two. The anxiety was so intense that it would make me physically sick, ruining special events, my normal favorite activities and time spent with people I love.

It’s Our Job to Create Boundaries

I recently met with a new business owner that is just starting her journey. We chatted in a rustic, chic coffee shop over expensive tea in glass mugs. Somehow we landed on the topic of client relationships which lead into our conversation on boundaries.

I shared with her everything I just shared with you, but the most important words that came out of my mouth during that conversation were, “I let it happen.” Let me tell you, I didn’t come to that realization over night.

Re-evaluating My Why

I eventually hit my breaking point with bending over backwards for clients 7 days a week, 365 days a year. It was taking a toll on my life in every single way. I asked myself, “Is this what I signed up for when I started my business?” and the honest answer was, “no.” This was definitely NOT what I had signed up for.

In fact, it was everything against why I had started my business in the first place, and it was up to me to change that.

I started a 6-week hypnotherapy program with Kate from Seeking Sundara and it completely changed my life. I opened up my heart and shared all of the nasty anxiety I was experiencing around work and life. Kate was able to help me help myself.

Making a Hard Choice

I went into the program knowing that my work/life balance needed to change. There were two choices, and I needed to figure out what one was the best for me and my health.

1. I could let me clients go and close my digital marketing business.
2. I could learn how to create boundaries & a healthier relationship with clients and work.

To be honest, in the beginning of the program, I leaned towards option one. But then, I had my relationship hypnotherapy session with Kate, and it changed EVERYTHING for me.

During the session, Kate had me visualize walking into a hallway. The hallway was filled with doors & behind each door was a person or “thing” that I needed to address my relationship with. The very first door I opened was filled with my clients. It was time to break ties and create a healthier, happier connection with them and that is exactly what I did.

Boundaries: My Nonnegotiables

Days after my session, I started creating VERY distinct boundaries in my life and I’ve never looked back since. Technology is what connects me with my clients so that is where I started. Here’s what I did:

1. Started leaving my phone in the office to charge over night. No more phone in the bedroom (also great for your sex life – just saying).
2. Turning my phone on “Do Not Disturb” permanently! Yep. I don’t need those dings controlling me. Now I check my phone intentionally and when I want to.
3. Establishing REAL working hours. I try to only communicate with clients during my business hours 8:00 AM – 5:00 PM, Monday – Friday.
4. NOT checking work emails & notifications on the weekend. After an intense week of work, my brain NEEDS this break to shut off & recharge. I still work on the weekend because I like to, but I don’t communicate with my clients outside the business hours.
5. Breath work before client communication. I take three deep, grounding breaths before I open my email or check my instant messages.

The affects these actions had on my anxiety and my life were literally immediate. Just days later, I felt like an entirely new person. It is up to YOU to establish boundaries in your relationships. Whether it’s with a friend, a child, a spouse or a client, you have so much more control over that relationship than you realize.

If there is a relationship in your life that causes you anxiety or stress, I highly encourage you to cut ties, breath, and reform that relationship in a positive, healthy way. Also, I can’t recommend Kate and her 6-week hypnotherapy program enough.

Kate does NOT give you advice or influence you. She simply guides you and helps you help yourself in truly the most beautiful and organic way. If you have any questions about he program or what it is like working with her, I’m happy to answer them!