• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • HOME
  • Love+Life
    • Adulting
      • This is the Story of My Life
      • I Hired a Life Coach
      • Why is Making Friends as an Adult so Freaking Hard?
      • My Biggest Insecurity… Money
      • My First Experience Using the Grocery Delivery Service Shipt from Meijer
      • Reusable Solutions: 8 Easy Ways to Reduce Your Waste
    • Wedding
      • Our Destination Wedding at Flora Farms
      • Our Intimate Courthouse Wedding
      • The Real Reason We Got Married 3 Months Before Our Wedding
      • How Much Does it Cost to Get Married at the Courthouse?
      • Our Couple’s Shower at Chateau Aeronautique Brewery & Winery
      • Our Tropical Wedding Invitation Suite from Minted
      • Slow Down & Enjoy Your Engagement with Modern Wedding by Kelsey McKinnon
      • The Best Little White Dresses for Your Bachelorette Party and Bridal Shower
      • Moody, Tropical, Boho Wedding Mood Board
    • Marriage
      • Married to Medicine
      • 5 Books to Improve Your Romantic Relationships
      • What If I’m Not Made to be a Mother?
      • The Real Reason We Got Married 3 Months Before Our Wedding
      • A Letter to My Almost Husband
      • Our Engagement Story
      • We Met on a Double Date
      • Finding Love After Heartbreak
  • HOME DECOR
    • Home Tours
      • Modern, Vintage Victorian House Tour
      • Paint Colors: As Seen on Instagram
      • Naked (The house, not me) Tour
    • Makeovers
      • Mudroom Makeover on a Budget
      • Mud Room/Laundry Room Progress Update
      • Black Bathroom Inspiration + Updates on Ours
      • Black & White Kitchen Renovation Inspiration
      • My $500 Kitchen Refresh Reveal with Cost Breakdown
      • Entryway Makeover: A Before & After on a Budget
    • Seasonal & Holiday
      • Holiday Home Tour 2018
      • Black & White Christmas Decor
      • Seven Ways to Make Your Home Feel Like Fall Without Holiday Decor
      • Fall Front Porch: Modern, Creative Ideas
      • Thanksgiving Tablescapes: Unique, Modern & Moody Fall Place Settings
  • Lifestyle
    • Family
    • Health & Fitness
      • My Battle with Chronic Headaches & Migraines + How I Found Relief
      • May is Mental Health Awareness Month
      • Why Every Entrepreneur Should Workout
    • Travel
      • Three Days on the Amalfi Coast: Italy Trip
      • A Magical Trip to Tulum, Mexico: On a Budget
      • La Lastra Winery Tour Sienna Italy
      • Transportation in Italy: What I Would do Differently
      • Vacationing in Costa Rica: Everything You Need to Know
      • Our Lake Michigan Weekend Getaway in a Tiny Cabin
    • Style
      • Zaful Swimwear Review + My Cheeky Honeymoon Bikinis
      • Beach Honeymoon Style Inspiration
    • Beauty
      • My Simple Skincare Routine
      • Getting Hair Extensions? Here’s What I Wish Someone Would Have Told Me
      • My 5 Minute weekday Makeup Routine
  • Business
    • Blogging
      • Affiliate Marketing: Make Money with Your Blog
      • Six ways to Monetize Your Blog and Social Media
      • How to Make Money Blogging
      • How to Manage a Blog When You Work Full-time
    • Entrepreneurship
      • Four Ways to Nail Your Business Finances
      • How to Avoid Isolation When You Work from Home
      • Empowering Quotes for Your Phone Screen Background
      • 12 Books Every Female Entrepreneur Should Read
      • The Power of Batch Working & Time Blocking as an Entrepreneur
      • Stylish Laptop Bags: Weekly Round Up
      • Seven Chances to Email Your List That You Might be Missing
    • Social Media
      • 5 Steps to Getting Ahead of Content Creation & Planning
  • SHOP
    • Home
    • Maternity
    • Organization
    • Beauty
    • Fashion
    • Sustainability
    • Workout
  • WORK WITH ME
    • Brand Collaborations
    • Wedding & Events
  • ABOUT

Miranda Schroeder

A millennial girl's guide to home, life & love.

My Biggest Insecurity… Money

mirandaschro| Adulting+ Life+ Lifestyle

This post contains affiliate links. Thanks for keeping my creativity afloat.

I read a caption on Instagram coming from an Enneagram type 8 and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Enneagram and Coffee is doing a light and shadow series on Instagram where various types talk about their vulnerabilities. The passage below could not be a more accurate representation of myself and my own vulnerabilities. I love how she mentioned that us type 8s often share things that might appear very vulnerable to others, but to us they aren’t our true insecurities. We like to keep those in the shadows. Obviously, if you are a different type than 8, your passage will look different than the one below.

Each enneagram type radiates light. By light, we mean the good stuff, the happy, the many reasons people love them. While the shadows stand for the stuff we go home with and are constantly working through – usually alone, but still noteworthy to who we are. We asked the nine different enneagram types to talk about their shadows and their light. Can you guess who they are?


“People think I’m not easy to shake. Most people think I’m passionate and have my fair share of opinions, but for the most part, I think people who really know me enjoy the energy I bring.


I’m good at managing vulnerable emotions so I can stay strong for myself and for a purpose.


People actually don’t realize that I’m very good at seeming like I have been vulnerable by sharing openly something personal, but I’ve actually shared something that I don’t feel a sense of emotional vulnerability in.
They likely know that I struggle to connect with the weaker or needier parts of myself, but they may not know the level of fear and discomfort I feel in deciding to try to lean into those places where I feel extremely vulnerable to rejection or betrayal.


The Enneagram has taught me how to see people with more empathy. Being able to more easily get to why people do what they do has built compassion to a greater degree in interpersonal relationships. It has taught me the overarching theme of wholeness by become more of our true selves.


It’s almost impossible for me to turn off my Enneagram awareness in normal life, so I’m always thinking on it in personal relationships as well. Personally, I use it for my own work towards integrating parts of myself that I ignore or don’t want to access.”

– Enneagram & Coffee on Instagram

I don’t know why, but this simple Instagram caption pushed me to share one of my true vulnerabilities with you. Money. Not having money is my biggest, ugliest insecurity. I am SO self conscious about how much money I have or do not have (in this season, do not have). Money is constantly on my mind. I look at my bill and budget spreadsheet every single day. I make good money, but I spend even more than I make. We all know how that works #creditcarddebt

I have this financial hole that I’m in. I want to appear like I have it all figured out. Like I’m financially sound. But in reality, I’m drowning in bills and debt. And I am SO embarrassed by it. It’s the one thing I refuse to admit or face in the eyes of other people. Admitting that I live paycheck to paycheck feels like standing naked in front of an auditorium of rich people. It’s sad on so many levels that I live this way…

Unexpected Taxes

My 2018 taxes set me back WAY more than we had planned for this tax season. We had estimated that I would owe the government $6,000 in taxes thanks to my digital marketing business. After doing my taxes, I owed the government TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS. $12,000. Twelve freaking thousand dollars. Anyways, I had to do a three month payment plan for the taxes ($3,000/month). My last payment is coming up. I’m scared shitless for what I’m going to owe for the 2019 season because you can only do a tax payment plan every 5 years. After this tax payment, I will be keeping my business spending to an extreme minimum. If you own your own business or make money on the side (doing literally anything), you need to pay attention to what you owe in taxes. I don’t want you to be blindsided like I was (and I even have an accountant on retainer).

Paying for Our Wedding

I waited to the very last day to file my taxes. Here it was mid April and my wedding was in less than 2 months. We were about to write checks for THOUSANDS of dollars to wedding vendors. Figuring out how to finish payment for the wedding was the most stressful thing Andrew and I have walked through together. We literally NEVER fight, but the night before the wedding as we sat in bed wide eyed trying to figure out how we were going to cut a check the next day for $10,000 MORE dollars, Andrew snapped. He hit me where it hurt. I don’t WANT to be bad at money. I’m trying to stop getting myself into bad situations financially (just kidding, I literally tried to buy a house this morning). I’m just such a dreamer when it comes to “making things happen.” I often ditch logic and go to grit.

Alas, we came up with the money and our wedding was absolutely magical. It couldn’t have been more perfect, and it was worth *most” the pennies (by pennies I mean thousands and thousand of dollars). My mom kept telling me that I should be proud of myself for making this a reality, but in my gut, I felt like an idiot for having nothing left in my bank account after the wedding. A month later and the wedding is behind us. Now, I’m focusing on paying off debt and saving where I can.

Paying off Debt

The good news is that our destination wedding is over, done with, and paid for so we can start focusing on knocking out this debt that I’ve managed to accumulate by overspending. I took out a personal loan to pay off credit cards (my engagement ring and a card I had used for a previous balance transfer). Both of the lines of credit were coming up on their zero interest period, so they had to go. I also got sick of trying to keep track of all the debt payments I needed to make. It’s so much easier to look at one amount and make one monthly payment. I have one more large credit card to pay off and then I will be focusing on paying off the personal loan as fast as possible. I also owe my business some money. Yep, I owe my own business money (major face palm). Meanwhile, I still have a nice chunk of student loans to go which currently add up to over $600/month.

So many people have recommended The Financial Diet to me. I finally purchased it today and started listening. It’s seriously the perfect book for a millennial woman who wants to get her financial shit together (aka me). I’m listening to the audiobook which you can find here. Chelsea is the sarcastic voice I need in my life to whip my financial butt into shape. I highly recommend this book if you are feeling a bit overwhelmed and don’t know where to start. She gives tons of tips and advice and it’s ALL actionable. There are also a lot of amazing guest speakers in the book that give their personal take on subjects like budgeting a saving for retirement.

Here’s the thing, we all have our own insecurities. Struggles that no one knows about. It goes to show that the outside isn’t always an accurate representation of the inside. We hide all of our yuck in the darkest places we can find even though bringing it to light is what helps us move on. I know I have a spending problem. I know I have WAY too much debt. Now it’s time to tackle it. You don’t have to live in shame my friends. Acknowledge, let go and go kick ass.


Photography: Morgan Sessions // Shoes: DSW & You Need Them!


Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Autumn Renee says

    June 28, 2019 at 5:39 pm

    Thank you for talking about this. I have the same thing, and I feel like it’s one subject nobody wants to talk about. Same with me. I appreciate someone being open about it.

    Reply
    • mirandaschro says

      July 3, 2019 at 1:52 pm

      It’s such a huge part of our lives and effects so many things! We need to start the conversation!

      Reply
  2. Sierra Grayson says

    July 3, 2019 at 4:14 pm

    I’ve been an instagram follower of yours for a while now and reading through this post was so refreshing. Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing the happiest moments of your life and the transformation of your beautiful home – but knowing you have financial insecurities too helps it feel less isolating. It’s SO EASY to compare the worst or scariest parts of your life to others’ best, especially when you’re just scrolling through pictures. Thanks for opening up about this topic and reminding me (and a bunch of others, I’m sure) that it’s okay to admit we have things to work on.

    Reply
    • mirandaschro says

      July 3, 2019 at 5:01 pm

      I’m so glad you found this helpful! That was truly my intention of sharing it. There is so much going on behind every photo on the Internet that we often don’t see!

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Welcome Friends

I’m a newlywed living in Indianapolis, Indiana with my hubby and two pups, Porter and Piper. I wear a lot of hats, like blogger, marketing manager and small business owner. I believe everyone has the power to create a home, life & business that they LOVE. Don’t forget to subscribe for all the juicy updates I send out each week!

Subscribe

Find Something

Blog Categories

rug source

The Latest

  • Spring Cleaning Checklist with Oreck
  • A Pro’s Guide to Refinishing your Hardwood Floors
  • Easy Dinner Recipes with Nakano Knives
  • From Weird TV Room to Guest Bedroom: This Room Got a Major Makeover
  • What’s in Baby Girl’s Closet

What I’m Pinning

  • Inside the Home of a Modern, Victorian Filled with Cool Vintage | Black Eclectic Kitchen
  • Inside the Home of a Modern, Victorian Filled with Cool Vintage
  • Each spring, I love opening the windows and letting the fresh air pour into our home. Today we're sharing ten cleaning tips that will help break your home out of the winter blues. The post Spring Cleaning Checklist with Oreck appeared first on Miranda Schroeder.
  • Inside the Home of a Modern, Victorian Filled with Cool Vintage
  • Our Intimate Courthouse Wedding | Miranda Schroeder Blog | www.mirandaschroeder.com
  • Our Intimate Courthouse Wedding | Greenery Bouquet & Black Bridal Hat | Miranda Schroeder Blog | www.mirandaschroeder.com
  • Inside the Home of a Modern, Victorian Filled with Cool Vintage
  • Inside the Home of a Modern, Victorian Filled with Cool Vintage
  • Our Intimate Courthouse Wedding | Vintage, Rose Gold Engagement Ring | Miranda Schroeder Blog | www.mirandaschroeder.com
  • Our Intimate Courthouse Wedding | Vintage, Halo, Rose Gold Engagement Ring | Miranda Schroeder Blog | www.mirandaschroeder.com
  • Narrow, Small Entryway Ideas with Staircase | Miranda Schroeder Blog | Get entryway ideas at www.mirandaschroeder.com
  • We live in a world where we are constantly connected with the power of a computer in our purse or pocket. There is no clean, clear divide between work and personal life for so many of us. I got to the point where one email would put me in a downward spiral for hours, sometimes even a full day or two. The anxiety was so intense that it would make me physically sick, ruining special events, my normal favorite activities and time spent with people I love. Entrepreneurship | Business | Life

Spring Cleaning Checklist with Oreck

A Pro’s Guide to Refinishing your Hardwood Floors

Easy Dinner Recipes with Nakano Knives

Happy Saturday! 🌸 ⁠ ⁠ I have SO much to get Happy Saturday! 🌸 ⁠
⁠
I have SO much to get done today before we leave for the #babymoon tomorrow night. Not to mention, we are throwing a #babysprinkle for our sweet friends tomorrow right before we leave 🙃⁠
⁠
ALL THE BABIES.⁠
⁠
Our shower is next weekend, and I'm feeling more prepared for baby! In the end, I don't think there is anything that can possibly prepare you for bringing home a tiny human 😆⁠
A rare sighting of our kitchen 👀 I've talked ab A rare sighting of our kitchen 👀 I've talked about how I want to gut this room since before we even closed on the house 🙈⁠⁠
⁠⁠
But so many people keep telling me it's not as bad as I make it out to be... & some even have said they like it 😂⁠⁠
⁠⁠
It's FULL of cherry wood, and was all done custom in the 1980s. Some days I love it. Other days, I hate it. I want to know your thoughts 👇🏼⁠⁠
⁠⁠
⁠PS: We are loving our new @nakanoknives 👏🏼 They just launched their new IG page!⁠⁠
⁠⁠
⁠⁠
⁠⁠
⁠⁠
⁠⁠
⁠⁠
⁠⁠
#thoughtfullythrifted #historichome #oldhouselove #kitchen #kitchenremodel #kitchenrenovation #paintedcabinets #sodomino #currentdesignsituation #apartmenttherapy #myhousebeautiful #finditstyleit #currenthomeview #mydomaine #mybhg #bhghome #myhomevibe #bohemianhome #ihavethisthingwithrugs #housetour #pocketofmyhome  #myeclecticmix #myhomevibe #homeblogger #mypinterest
I am SO torn on how to paint this room 😩 Do I g I am SO torn on how to paint this room 😩 Do I go bright and white or dark and moody? Do I paint the wood or keep it as is? Helppppppppppp.⁠⁠
⁠⁠
There is absolutely no question that we will be replacing the ceiling fan 😂 Holding off on ordering one until I decide on paint color.⁠
⁠
⁠
⁠
⁠
⁠
⁣⁠
⁠
⁠
#finditstyleit #pocketofmyhome #showmeyourboho #inmydomaine #homerenovation #currentdesignsituation #hunkerhome #myhousebeautiful #simplystyleyourspace #mybohoabode #myvintagehome #livingroomdecor #apartmenttherapy #howwedwell #modernboho #showmeyourstyled #howyouhome #mydomaine #showemyourstyled #heyhomehey #ispyraddesign #myeclecticmix #theeverygirlathome #bohovibes #smmakelifebeautiful #realhomesofinstagram #makehomematter #thenewbohemians
We have been working so much lately & anytime we g We have been working so much lately & anytime we get together is such a treat 🖤 Pregnancy has brought a whole new set of challenges to our relationship + a whole lotta extra L O V E 🤰🏼⁠
⁠
I know things are going to change even more drastically when little miss Ryan makes her arrival. Thankful for a husband who is always so quick to forgive and even quicker to say sorry.⁠
⁠
Bring on the #babymoon hubs! Mama is ready for a break + some sand and sea 🌴🌊⁠
⁠
⁠
⁠
⁠
⁠
⁠
⁠
#thoughtfullythrifted #posttheordinary #ownyoureveryday #girlshowyourface #seasonsofsimplicity #theartofslowing #seekthesimplicity #lifestylecollective #postwithpurpose #shedelights #relationshipgoals #Godisgood #marriagerocks #marriagematters
It's time for spring cleaning #sponsored We are th It's time for spring cleaning #sponsored We are those weird people who LOVE to clean - on top of it being a new season, we are officially in nesting mode 🤰🏼⁠⁠
⁠⁠
We have tried SO many different vacuums and this @oreckliving bagged vacuum is AMAZING on hard surfaces & carpet (especially for all the dog hair).⁠⁠
⁠⁠
Head to my stories to see it in action!⁠⁠
⁠⁠
⁠⁠
⁠⁠
⁠⁠ #springcleaninghacks #springcleaningtime #springcleaningclosetremix #springcleaning2021 #spring #cleaningmotivation #springcleaningtips #springcleaningfever #homedecor #springcleaningsale #tidyingup #springclean #springcleaningcontinues #springcleaningmama
The sun is shining & there is a healthy baby in my The sun is shining & there is a healthy baby in my belly ☀️🤰🏼 Nothing to complain about here. We are so ready for you little Ryan 🖤 #nesting #29weekspregnant⁠⁠
⁠⁠
⁠⁠
⁠⁠
⁠⁠
⁠⁠
⁠⁠
⁠⁠
#thoughtfullythrifted #sodomino #currentdesignsituation #apartmenttherapy #myhousebeautiful #finditstyleit #instahome #currenthomeview #mydomaine #designsponge #mybhg #bhghome #myhomevibe #bohemianhome #persianrug #rugsnotdrugs #vintagerugs #thisiswhyihavetothriftshopeveryday #ihavethisthingwithrugs #housetour #modernhome #mydomaine #pocketofmyhome  #myeclecticmix #myhomevibe #homeblogger #mypinterest

Footer

Disclosure

This Site is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Subscribe

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest

Connect

hello@mirandaschroeder.com

Book a Call with Miranda

Copyright © 2021 · Florence Theme by Code + Coconut